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Bill: Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables
Details
Status[?]: defeated
Votes: This bill asks for an amendement to the Constitution. It will require two-thirds of the legislature to vote in favor. This bill will not pass any sooner than the deadline.
Voting deadline: August 2317
Description[?]:
| So it was decided that the variables for Beiteynu should be Jewish orientated and the Pontesians would claim this government would not exercise authority over Gran Tadraki. I think we then need to have a discussion on what these should all be and I've made the first move by proposing these. I know there were Jewish variables in place before but there is no harm in change. If you want to bring back Supreme Rabbi or something that it can be worked in but I do think we need a new anthem seeing as the old one was just the anthem of Israel with some words changed. Basically this is pretty much all a bastardisation of terms I found on wikipedia and I suspect the HoS name makes absolutely no sense but I think it sound pretty cool, we could just cut it to Nasi though. If you want to find out more about them just search them on wikipedia. I'm not too bothered about the last one I just thought mound would be quite fun, we could use Mehoz which is the Hebrew word for district instead... or Shtetl, that would be fun. Let the discussion begin! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 6: With the passage of this bill the nation shall be renamed "Disputed Territories of Beiteynu and Gran Tadraki" |
Proposals
Article 1
Proposal[?] to change The lyrics of the national anthem.
Old value:: Oh Fatherland, Fatherland, show us a sign, To lead us from hatred and substance malign; I wake from my slumber and gaze at the day, Yet look to you always to show me the way; Through sword, bow and arrows, the perils I've slayed, Would make e'er a weaker man sorely afraid; But with such a guidance I'll never stray, My Fatherland is my way. Oh Motherland, Motherland, tell us again, Of those you repulsed as they challenged your reign; The grass recalls battles, our stalwart prowess, The hawks soaring over note how we progress; Building our futures with esprit de coeur, We're once, twice, thrice, evermore striken with awe; But with my own glorious part to play, My Motherland is my way. Oh Pontesi, Pontesi, let us once more, Praise your grand name as our fathers before; As one valiant nation to challenge the sins, That fell naive countries whose morals wore thin; I will fight for home, my morale will not break, With forces of wickedness slain in my wake, It's with such a realm my loyalty stays My Pontesi is my way.
Current:
| "Hatikvah" As long inside our hearts כֹּל עוֹד בַּלֵּבָב פְּנִימָה A Jewish soul still yearns, נֶפֶשׁ יְהוּדִי הוֹמִיָּה, And onward toward the East, וּלְפַאֲתֵי מִזְרָח קָדִימָה, Looking towards Tzion; עַיִן לְצִיּוֹן צוֹפִיָּה; We have not lost hope yet, עוֹד לֹא אָבְדָה תִּקְוָתֵנוּ, The hope is two thousand years old, הַתִּקְוָה בַּת שְׁנוֹת אַלְפַּיִם, To be a free people in our land, לִהְיוֹת עַם חָפְשִׁי בְּאַרְצֵנוּ, The land of Tzion and Yishelem אֶרֶץ צִיּוֹן וִירוּשָׁלַיִם |
Proposed:
| Our people strewn across the lands, With sharpened crosses and books of lies, By sinful minds and brutal hands, They smote with hatred in their eyes, Our Jewish spirit beat so strong, Our children took to the streets with heart, Yet guns curtailed our Jewish Song, Their blades to rip our kin apart, But now we see a brighter day, And glories from a clearer sky, We'll see our brethren and we shall say, The Lords day now is truly nigh, For the Homeland! For the Homeland! In all we do and all we love, We aim for one uniting goal, Never again shall the tyrants' gloves, Brandish our bodies, sheathe our soul, For the Homeland! For the Homeland! |
Article 2
Proposal[?] to change The title of the head of government, who chairs the cabinet.
Old value:: Jezhikok'ai
Current: Rosh HaMemshala (Prime Minister) and Royal Ramatkal (Chief of Staff)
Proposed: Av Beit Din
Article 3
Proposal[?] to change The formal title of the Head of State.
Old value:: Isrkai Accipitrum
Current: His Royal Majesty Albert, Inheritor of the House of Elior by the Grace of Elyon and Guidance of Ariel, of the Houses of Orange-Villayn and Rothingren-Traugott; Yeudi Monarch, Meleh (King) of the Yeudi Homeland, Emperor of Luthori, King of Rutania, King of Mordusia, Mahzik (Holder) of the Yeudi Crown of 8 Gems and the Throne of Yishelem, Magen (Defender) of the Holy Land and the Yeudi People
Proposed: Naczelnik Nasi
Article 4
Proposal[?] to change The official title of the legislative assembly.
Old value:: Krs'kaisrne
Current: Knesset (Parliament)
Proposed: Sanhedrin
Article 5
Proposal[?] to change The official title of subnational entities, also known as regions.
Old value:: Taghe
Current: Mahoz/Mehozot (District/Districts)
Proposed: Mehoz
Debate
These messages have been posted to debate on this bill:
| Date | 20:38:48, November 12, 2006 CET | From | Red Anarchy Faction | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | if everyone here has unicode support, you could put in the hebrew then the latin in brackets. |
| Date | 21:05:58, November 12, 2006 CET | From | Red Anarchy Faction | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | The anthem's also a bit out of metre with itself. It's awesome, and I know I'm not even going to be on the Jewish side of things, but here's a few suggestions. I apologise if I sound overcritical or condesending, it's not intentional. Our people strewn across the lands, (8) With sharpened crosses and books of lies, (9) => With sharpened emblems and books of lies. (9) Other religions have persecuted your lot. I'm Progressive Darwinist, for example! By sinful minds and brutal hands, (8) They killed the strong they killed the wise, (8) => They smote with hatred in their eyes (8). If they killed the strong and wise, that'd imply there was little strength and intellect amongst you. Not good for the patriotic element - also, this makes it more indiscriminate and demonising of your opponents. Our Jewish spirit beat so strong, (8) Our children took to the streets with heart, (9) Yet with guns they cut short our Jewish song, (10) => Guns would curtail our Jewish Song, (8). to fit the other verses. And with knives they ripped our kin apart, (9) =>Their blades to rip our kin apart (8). Likewise - also conveying with the possessive that the oppression was from the previously demonised. But now we see a brighter day, (8) A chance for glory to be strewn, (8) => And glories from a clearer sky(8). Preventing the word "strewn" being used twice for variety We see our brothers and we might say, (9) => We'll see our brethren and we shall say(9). Just a more assertive idea, not really too much of a twist. The day of the Lord it shall be soon, (9) => The Lord's day now is truly nigh (8). Metre and to rhyme with change before last. For the Homeland! => Perhaps a repeat of the Chorus would be good. For the Homeland! All we do and we all we love, (7) => In all we do and all we love(8). Metre. Is aimed at one uniting goal, (8) => We aim for one uniting goal(8). Active voice instead of passive voice. More assertion. Never again shall the slave masters glove, (10) => Never again shall the tyrants' gloves (9). Metre and more demonisation. Be near our body be near our soul (9) => Brandish our bodies, quench our soul (8). Feeling that the verbs of oppression (which sounds like a US diplomatic jargon nonsense, heh) add bitterness to the demonising hands. For the Homeland! For the Homeland! |
| Date | 21:45:16, November 12, 2006 CET | From |  Ma'avak | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | Thanks that's great, I just did this as a first idea for an anthem and I definitely thought it needed some work especially as you are right in that the metre was all wrong. Those are some really good suggestions and I'll have another go at it using them, also I'll wait to see what the other parties think about it. Just out of interest did you write the Pontesi anthem? |
| Date | 19:55:19, November 13, 2006 CET | From | Ma'avak | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | First Stanza: Our people strewn across the lands With sharpened crosses and books of lies By sinful minds and brutal hands They smote with hatred in their eyes (I've taken your suggestions on here but left the second line as crosses as I think it sounds better than emblems. A new more religiously neutral word might be better though but I don't know if emblems really works.) Second Stanza: Our Jewish spirit beat so strong Our children took to the streets with heart Guns would curtail our Jewish Song Their blades to rip our kin apart (This is basically what you said but I'm not sure about the third line. I like the fourth one but I don't know if the third one fits in with the tense of the whole things.) Third Stanza: But now we see a brighter day And glories from a clearer sky We'll see our brethren and we shall say The Lords day now is truly nigh (Good stuff.) Fourth Stanza: In all we do and all we love We aim for one uniting goal Never again shall the tyrants' gloves Brandish our bodies, quench our soul (I'm happy with this except for quench, I might try and think of a different word here.) I haven't decided how many times the "For the Homeland!" bit should be repeated, probably more than once like I first put but not after every stanza (that's a point actually, do you call them stanzas or is that only in poems?). What you suggested in having it after the third and the fourth sounds good. I'd like to hear what other parties, JPF etc, have to say. In any case I think this is better than just copying the Israeli anthem. |
| Date | 01:10:20, November 14, 2006 CET | From | Red Anarchy Faction | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | I did write "Oh Fatherland", co-incidentally. Stanzas also applies to songs. Songs without tunes are poems anyway! Glad you like the ideas but I see you've made some good criticisms- how about "Guns curtailed" instead of "Guns would curtail"? Flows a little better and is more assertive... and instead of "quench", how about "still", "mute", "clasp", "crush", "quash" (which I think was what I was thinking of when quench came to mind. Quench isn't right, I agree), "quell", "sheathe", "clench", "taint" or "break"? |
| Date | 13:04:30, November 14, 2006 CET | From | Ma'avak | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | I've updated it now, how do we all feel about the bill as a whole? Mehoz instead of Tell I'm thinking now. |
| Date | 15:33:03, November 16, 2006 CET | From | Ma'avak | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | I want to put this to a vote, will it be supported? |
| Date | 11:23:39, November 20, 2006 CET | From | Ma'avak | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | I've taken off the flag bit so we can sort that out later, let's give this a try. |
| Date | 19:46:15, November 20, 2006 CET | From | Red Anarchy Faction | To | Debating the Resurrection Of The Homeland - Jewish Variables |
| Message | I call upon all Pontesians here to support this as per the OOC discussion thread - this was always the intention to allow for a permenant RP situe. |
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Voting
| Vote | Seats | ||||
| yes |
Total Seats: 215 | ||||
| no | Total Seats: 0 | ||||
| abstain |
Total Seats: 170 |
| Random fact: Selucia is Particracy's modern take on Ancient Rome, located on the continent of Majatra. |
| Random quote: "What are you trying to protect heterosexual marriages from? There isn't a limited amount of love in Iowa. It isn't a non-renewable resource. If Amy and Barbara or Mike and Steve love each other, it doesn't mean that John and Mary can't." - Ed Fallon |