Citizens of the Divine Aristocrat Order of Kafuristan rejoice as their national Tennis idol Sonia Jones has won the International Tennis Championship. Omnipotent Lord of Absolute Power, Holder of All Virgins, Protector of the Arab Premises and Master of all Oil Available, Divine Guider of all People, Holder of the Sacred Stones of Justice, the Undoubtable Mind and Heart, Grand Secretariat and Unquestionable Judge John Aristocrat has personally congratulated Sonia Jones with the victory. Coach Raymond Adams was quoted saying "this is the day where all the hard work finally pays off".