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February 3886
Announcement from the Government of the Federal Republic of Davostan

This press message was released by the Government of the Federal Republic of Davostan.

The funeral of Sir Johnson Robert Adams, former leader of the NLDAP or PNP, as it is called now was held today in the capital city in a funeral home known to have buried some of the nation's most prominent politicians. 34,650,000 of the nations population and 25,250,000 of the worldwide population attended, making it a total of 59,900,000 people who attended the funeral, surpassing the attendance of the funeral Sir Frederick Barkley, a well known PNP Member of the Federal Senate, which 58,900,000 people attended.

As the attendance numbers were big, 800 roads in the city were closed down so that the funeral could be held. Many prominent politicians of the PNP gave speeches on the former leader, saying that he was the greatest leader that they had ever known.

During the funeral, there were some hecklers in the audience, saying that Sir Johnson Robert Adams had no right to be buried and that he should have just been dumped into a marsh. The attendees hissed and shouted at the hecklers, some throwing things at the hecklers in the process. The hecklers were removed, and they were brought to the police station, where they are now under lock and key. The hecklers were known to be supporters of a regional independence group, saying that Sir Johnson Robert Adams was a 'racist', 'xenophobic' and 'a great shame to liberalism'. These comments have been denounced by the PNP, saying that Adams was fighting for equal rights for every person.

The funeral lasted for a total of 15 hours, with 14 hours and 45 minutes of speaking and 15 minutes of memorial. The funeral has been called the longest funeral for a PNP politician, since Sir Frederick Barkley's was only 5 hours.

After the funeral, Sir Johnson Robert Adams was buried in an undisclosed location since Sir Johnson Robert Adams had stated that he wanted to be buried in an undisclosed location, where he could rest peacefully without any noise, which he hated.

The Leader of the PNP has declared a 10 day period of mourning for this prominent politician.

Signed,
the Government of the Federal Republic of Davostan


Random fact: Don't put "the" as the first word in your party name, because when parties are referred to in news reports, their names are preceded with "the", e.g. The [Socialist Party] has lost.

Random quote: "Unlike the world of free-markets, in political government when some individuals win, other individuals lose." Robert Klassen

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