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Bill: Weapons of Mass Distortion
Details
Submitted by[?]: AM Feminazi Movement
Status[?]: defeated
Votes: This bill is a resolution. It requires more yes votes than no votes. This bill will not pass any sooner than the deadline.
Voting deadline: April 2366
Description[?]:
| The LFFR, after a restless night of debate has decided to attempt legislation that outlaws Kazoos. At one stage, in the name of research, a quartet of Kazoos played a song called 'Chemical Waste' by Spritney Brits, and the ensuing calamity resulted in a number of broken bones and glass lacerations when test subjects leapt out of windows. Sixteenth story windows. And as for the bowel movements that this cacaphony created it is safe to say there was more feacal matter in the room than [Likatonian Party Name Deleted] annual conference. Clearly these Kazoos are not to be trusted and should be appropriated by the military where experiments have yeilded encouraging results in radar interference, radio jamming and effluent enrichment. We also suggest atatching them to dive bombers that may see hostile action as a way of terrifying populations. So it is hereby proposed: (a) All Kazoos are to be forcibly removed from the the general population. Failure to declare a Kazoo will be punishable by death. Concealing a Kazoo will be punishable by death, unless you are a Mime, in which case you will be killed and revived so you can be shot. (b) The Military may use Kazoos as a weapon of war, but only in specific and approved missions. The military will be responsible for the further research of the uses of Kazoos. Kazoos that were intitially distributed in breakfast cereals will be immediately destroyed as they are obviously far too dangerous for anyone to use safely. Hail Greater Likatonia. With no kazoos. |
Proposals
Debate
These messages have been posted to debate on this bill:
| Date | 09:48:51, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Commonwealth Workers Army | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | This is perhaps the most rational statement we have seen from the LFFR in some time. The LFFR are irrational, fascistic, expansionist bloodthirsty barbarians, this is true. On the other hand, we have small metal or plastic doo-dads apparently considered akin to instruments, with a unique and abrasive tone. There must be balance. There will always be a lesser of two evils. And here, we must draw a line in the sand, and stand by something uncomfortable, when there is a true evil to be fought. Down with kazoos! |
| Date | 10:16:11, February 24, 2007 CET | From | AM Feminazi Movement | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | Already at least one Likaton Radio station is agreeing with us. http://www.kazoos.com/images2/kazoo-no.jpg |
| Date | 10:29:54, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Commonwealth Workers Army | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | When it is just one, they think you are crazy. When it is just two, they think there is something improper going on, and they ignore both of you... but once there are three, why, you have a movement, and that's what we have here... |
| Date | 13:06:32, February 24, 2007 CET | From |  Likaton Coalition of the Willing | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | On behalf of kazoo players everywhere, including the Esirovo Orchestra, and the historic Alice's Kazoo Concession stand, at the heart of St. Vodinsburg, we vehemently oppose this resolution. First you ban kazoo's, then it's ocharinae, and soon we won't be able to make humorous slide whistle noises. Would the LFFR, and the anti-music AMR! have us ban the ukelele next? In the spirit of compromise which has been the theme of Convocation matters of late, however, we would support an amended resolution containg the Mime provision of part a), and the military aspects of part b) only... |
| Date | 14:09:45, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Democratic National Party | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | We will support our government colleagues. |
| Date | 22:06:32, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Commonwealth Workers Army | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | An excellent proposal by our devout allies in the LITP. We MUST consider the unreasonable freedoms allowed to the terrifying and, frankly, unhygenic ukelele player. |
| Date | 22:24:34, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Likaton Coalition of the Willing | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | The LITP are aghast, and the word on the campaign trail is that this issue is going to cost the LFFR, and particularly the AMR! many votes. A LITP campaigner was today seen sporting the following: http://ukesanity.org/usbutt.jpg |
| Date | 22:58:09, February 24, 2007 CET | From | Commonwealth Workers Army | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | Perhaps the LITP are correct. Perhaps the AMR and LFFR have been appraching this all wrong. Indeed, until we were enlightened by the LITP, we hadn't even thought about the logical next step to the ukele... much less the nuisance instruments of torture such as the slide whistle or ocharina. We bow to the LITP approach, and vow to stamp out all 'instruments of terror'. |
| Date | 23:07:57, February 24, 2007 CET | From | AM Feminazi Movement | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | Ukelele' s are only slightly offencive, hower we take a very dim view of slide whistles and will consider a further amendment to cover these. |
| Date | 23:21:03, February 25, 2007 CET | From | AM Populist Social Democrats | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | We will vote yes if and only if the sponsoring party agrees to also support a resolution banning the use of bagpipes for anything other than military purposes. Talk about an annoying instrument! |
| Date | 11:14:23, February 26, 2007 CET | From | Right Wing Liberals Party | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | lulz |
| Date | 21:07:36, February 26, 2007 CET | From | AM Feminazi Movement | To | Debating the Weapons of Mass Distortion |
| Message | We hope that all parties who voted against this get visited by impromptu kazoo ensembles at 4am. |
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Voting
| Vote | Seats | ||||||
| yes | Total Seats: 39 | ||||||
| no |
Total Seats: 139 | ||||||
| abstain | Total Seats: 21 |
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