This press message was released by the Government of the Republic of Telamon.
The era of big government is over... at least in Telamon. President Arthur Dent, Prime Minister Zaphod Beeblebrox, and the Conservative Capitalist Party have taken over, ushering in a new era of privatization, devolution, lower taxes and smaller government.
The history of Telamon has been fraught with military dictatorships and corrupt democracies. While we honor our more recent forefathers, we acknowledge the fundamental difference in philosophy we have with them. No longer shall the citizens of Telamon be slaves of the state. No longer shall the citizens of Telamon be drafted into military duty and forced to fight in wars with the Axis Mundi Likatonian Res Publica, formerly called the Republic of Likatonia. From now on, we will place an emphasis on diplomacy and international politics. War will no longer be something the leaders of this nation engage in for personal profit. We return ourselves to the honorable past when parties like the Radical Party, Democratic Capitalist Delegation, Telamon National Party, Republican Party, Social Democratic Party, and the Conservative Ordo Malleus (COM) debated national topics and fought for the good of our great nation.
It has been a long battle, and we have won... but the war is not yet over. We speak not of a military war, but a war of philosophy. We cannot allow the big government policies of the Telamon Brotherhood of Unions to take hold again. We cannot allow this opposition party to wreak havoc on the freedom and prosperity the people of Telamon once enjoyed so long ago, freedoms they now enjoy again. This time, freedom and liberty is here to stay. The people will not allow this kind of infraction. The people will not allow such policies. The people have spoken. The Conservative Capitalist Party has changed the policies of this nation to reflect the will of the people, and because of that the Telamon Brotherhood of Unions will never have the absolute power they once held. The people have spoken.
Signed,
the Government of the Republic of Telamon
